dads against unfair child supportdads against unfair child support

The putative father does not have the luxury, after the fact of conception, to decide that he is not ready for fatherhood. You and him and me are all getting screwed. Especially in our justice system that preaches equal rights. Thank you!!! The court rejected his argument that, since a woman may avoid motherhood through abortion, the man had a right to disclaim responsibility for a child born against his wishes. Like others of you, I take good care of my child, and will continue to do so. Kids were not home they must have been at a friends house. The law presumes that people are incapable of determining right from wrong. By the way there is little to no evidence that moms make better solo parents than dads do. I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my 9000 of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead. ..child support agenciesare the worst on fathers and treat us like second class parents in Virginia. The system, all of it, is corrupt from the lowest peon to the highest rank on the food chain. All of this is satisfactory to our horrible flawed court system. Its about whats best for the child. I feel that they need to fix this. I feel everyones pain in this comment section Im a dad and I have not worked for 3 months dues to my wife having an AFE(amniotic Fluid Embolism) I have to help her she is in bad condition and Im the only that can care for her she cannot be left alone she is a fall risk and has numerous health issues she cant even walk. The report sparked outrage across the country and even led to stricter child support laws. Our daughter spends approximately 75% of her time with me, but I dont expect him to pay me to feed her or house her. Well why did you sleep with them. The idea of stereotyping ALL fathers as deadbeats was a deliberate ploy to make the fathers the debtors, and the denigrating term was widely used. The arearage is now paid and we have only 6 more mos before the child turns 19 thank God. I fought, but basically was told that it would be unlikely. while also stripping her of her God-given talent and love for caring for those precious kiddos. He had the other 7 women on the show, but me. Ive been thinking all this same stuff for a long time on my own! And my 3 are the oldest. No tax breaks for the dads. Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. After the deductions come out of my check (60%) and I pay my bills I am left with $360 a month for gas, groceries, and entertainment for the kids. And parental alienation is against the law despite whether or not youve paid your child support. Most kids from single families become criminals, homeless, alcohol or drug dependent. Just saying. 5) If a woman wants an abortion it is up to her. I had to move in with family and my closest relative lives close to an hour from my children. The only way things are going to change is if we collectively and individually make create that change! I am a teacher and clinician. 2) Yes, 50/50 should probably be the default. Absolutely . As a woman you have many non pemanent options for BC first off, guy get condoms that can be tampered with by people searching for a paycheck,not saying you did this but many do. When my ex physically punched me several times in the back of the head while 6 months pregnant, what police officer would believe me. Judges will force noncustodial parents to get a job, any job to start paying welfare back or they will throw them in jail????? I have full custody . I stopped going around her house and was calling to speak to my daughter in which I kept saying to her lets make an arrangement for me to support her, she went off the hook and started cursing me out so I returned some of her words then 2 weeks later she served me with a protection order. Please explain how thats supposed to work. And I have no criminal record. Whenever OAG messes up my payments and I call them, Im treated like a deadbeat father. Dont tell him to stop his whining. And you told it as it is. whats amazing to me is that, we all know the system is outdated and not fair, but does ANYONE with any power do anything to try and change these really messed up laws? no becuase if they did that means that there will be less jobs, all those people whol get paid from the system would be jobless, so to hell with the middle and low income people. Check out a documentary called, DivorceCorp. The only thing that matters is the kid is happy and healthy. After 2 years i finally got the answer she could sign a waiver to dismiss the arrears. 2. Don't give up. Good luck. I could go on, but at this point it wouldnt change a thing. Work hard, get a better job and you wont have to worry about it. Why is NYS asking so much? she was at a loss for words. Sisters and (brothers) who are raising your children alone; keep the faith. Who still has never gotten to meet his brother. Both man and woman decide to not use protection equally. I changed more dippers and fed my child way more than my ex ever thought of. Oh, The Horror. We missed holiday dinner and I had to pay someone else to fix my car. Their work schedule; for example, if the breadwinner is on the road a lot, this can impact child custody. Ive had to fight for every cent I received from child support to include being their investigator on the fathers whereabouts, where he worked, where he lived, what he drove etc.. Ive written numerous letters to Judge Carr that fell on death ears. If the support order is for $1000/month that equals $100 for the state. Unbelievable. MUCH simpler system to deal with than the politics of the North. It is mind boggling to me that these people think it costs so little to care for children. He is now married with 2 adorable children, his wife has a good job (they can pay the bills and provide necessities for the children and themselves, and some wants), and they decided they didnt want someone else raising their children so he is the stay at home dad. Until the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act incentive payments (which are actually kickbacks) for collecting child support are changed to stop rewarding states for increasing the gross amount of child support collected, I dont see this happening. I am so frustrated and upset that I really do not have any words for him. It seems to work out so well for them????? The scam has been enhanced by the payment of incentives by the federal child support collection office to each states collection agency. On top of that I have been forced to pay an extra 52 a week for child care at a daycare my ex told the court he went to. Using absolutes makes you look less credible as nobody all the time, nor every person is the same. Lindsey I know about half the women I have talked to did the same and were shocked that the court didnt want to accept it, and a few others chose to only accept what amounted to ongoing expenses to shut the judge up on the issue, even though they would have rather just accepted the money directly because they worked fine together. She had her permit suspended for oweing a few months when we were paying it all on time until my injury. Now take half your paycheck and give it to the next person you see. It was not my choice to vilified The best things you can do as a father who is seeking sole or joint custody is to remain an active part of your child's life. When he called child support this week and essentially asked them to reconsider and/or issue a temporary license due to his situation they told him flat out that there was nothing they can do and he still owes regular payments even without having a source of income. Quite honestly, if the custody was more level, my daughter would actually see the child support money forked over to go spend foolishly. They collect child support from my daughter. My husband is in active therapy for his PTSD and depression and is unable to work physically.. She abused him and he was to weak to fight her then she abuses the children and now shes abusing me. We lived in Florida. I filed for child support in 2015, but cancelled the case when he begged me to and we agreed that he would pay me $250/month (I have text messages to prove this). Guess who makes it up? I am a woman who flat out refused to take child support when the judge tried to award it in Oklahoma. But until fathers join forces and push for reform, our sons will face the same fate. My sons mom agreed that this amount was absurd and that the back pay (arrears) was ridiculous and stated she would clear it up. It is outrageous so even suggest that you shouldnt have to pay for supporting your child because your ex works hard. If his ex wife wouldnt have never married Mr. V and was an actual single mother with no father in sight, wouldnt she still have to dig into her own 140k salary to pay for her children anyway? I lived with my kids and their mother for the better half of 14 years had a 65k year job and a lovely home.Only to find out shes kicking me out and moving her 2 time felon lover.Went to custody court several times and was told that since I was a hard core druggie and alcoholic that my rights were fully revoked.100% fiction.She lied and I was ordered to pay 1500 per month.throughout the time she had the kids he and her lived solely on my income.I went balistic when I found out all the empty 12 pack containers of beer were bought with my support money.I called cs numerous times and was told that I was to have no contact with her or the children whatsoever.I lost my job and was forced to take a minimum wage job and they were still charging me 1500 a month and they would not adjust the payment sending my past due skyrocketing.it quickly went from 13k to 75k in short order.I had to move in with my mother so as to not be homeless.Come to find out my kids were both living with his mother because of all the fighting they did.I contacted cs and let them know and was told that I was not paying enough and thats as far as I got with them.Both of my kids were removed from her to go live with their aunt and I still had to pay their mother.Im now in debt over 100k and my daughter is 24 been in jail 10 times and is currently looking at 5 years in state prison.And my son had to be raised by his aunt and is 21 in college.Im still paying her 850 per month. He never offered to take or come to any of her appointments or any radiation treatments (Mon-Fri). Not only does this taking 33% of his net income , his company looks at him like he is a looser. Im still a low income father with huge back payments. My ex was behind 26k, got emergency ex parte custody, and ultimately sole custody after getting a default judgement when he did not notify me of custody hearing, and used completely fabricated income ammounts, causing me to lose my house, the only home my 5 year old had ever known at the time, my job, and very worst I lost any relationship that I had with my girls, he got discretion on visitation , and the man has not allowed us to see them at all, these people are criminals with records, and I was a mail carrier. Thats when my nightmare began.Ive received 30 days incarceration, had to pay child support plus 100% of all their financial needs. It just seems the system wants to see you fail and be poor. Having the higher earner shoulder more of the financial responsibility, just because they can makes little senseespecially when they are ones who see the child the least! It will take a million man march to be heard or we all stop paying support for 3 months to cripples the machine , then after the 3 months we all pay up so we are not in arrears , no other way you sheep. No parent would want to see their child hurt. All child support should be put into a trust for the child and only used for approved medical, education, rent, food, etc NOT given to bad mothers who use kidd as paybacks, with no damn oversight or accountability. Things dont always go the way we want them to. I was paying $436 a month for child support. How come they dont make married families and singles on welfare, pay it back????? I am so thankful for our ability to not use our child as a weapon or greed. I used to give him money for food on his weekends so that he would not cancel on them. Deadbeat dads are not the norm at all nowadays. Ive been paying child support for 19 years in the state of NY and to date its at $148,450 PAID! The mother of the child filed for child support with false information and with no time sharing agreement in place, my bf got screwed. You can have a wonderful, healthy relationship with someone with whom you dont reside. You are not entitled to them. I have one child and her father and I dont have any written form of agreement. The child benefits greatly from the growth in both parents, agreements and disagreements. Even if you are not the best parent in the world the government shouldnt be able to take your kids away and hand them over to the other parent. There should not be such a thing as child support. In constested custody cases (i.e. You should consider how the father daughter relationship was during those two first years. Women, we are no better, because we allow this behavior. Every guys gonna do that now. Look outside the little bubble of your life and understand that people that have less in life still have children and bad things happen to people. His girlfriend dont even take care of her children. So she wanted a divorce. Guys have went to jail for owing $1500. See the kids want 5050 I want 5050 and now my kids cant see me but 48 hours every other week and 3 hours on Wed if I can take off work. Its unfair to my child.mind you before he got incarcerated he owed over $15,000 in support. Simply, it's an attack on the nature of a father's freedom and how he best wishes to raise and support . I had full custody of my youngest daughter until her maternal grandmother in Kentucky decides to file for custody, therefore began the scenario of stating that its not right for a little girl to grow up alone with her young father (Im 27) and that her and her husband can provide a better life. Also dont forget how much the attorneys are making off this gig, pitting parents against each other. the non sense of putting one parent into poverty is ridiculous and its not just. I just came back from war when all of this was going on not to mention I found out she cheated twice, once before our daughter was conceived and once 2 months after she was born. The office then says they cant do anything about it , if he is not there. I left I did not wake them. This is considered modern-day slavery. The truth is, many mothers that have sole custody dont get to start over. To make it worse, my daughter, was diagnosed at the age of 10 with a brain tumor and severe brain swelling. But the truth is, she is a photographer who works under the table. Judges dont get to know every case there are just to many and to them its only a job and they could care less if you are struggling due to an idoit you were once involved with,you are only a paycheck to judges and lawyers and they sure dont give a crap about the child. Money does matter to the kids, time does. After the child reaches 18 years of age, let see who the better parent was in the childs eyes, not the courts. This is usually the person who receives child benefit for that child. Judge Judy who was a real judge, hates child support. The mother had full custody. Mind you the whole time after my daughter was born. Badly. Tell me what about his Physical needs he is losing his Wife sometimes Wife herself wanted Divorce for her so called Freedom to Dance, go everywhere with maybe men, and he lost his kids. 3 talking about this. I grew up in this kind of situation and got to watch it from 3 different points of view of a child. And no government action should have the power to upset equality. Why is it ok to see women as victims of rape, and not men as victims of the archaic family/divorce laws? With this being said it shouldnt matter if you remarried and had more children or lost your job the child you are paying for still needs support. I guess I just needed to vent my frustration with the whole system. I hope for someone to help us but I feel we are only two of thousands stuck in a system thats easily manipulated! SInce I was resposible and had a job I STILL was ordered to pay child support just because I had a job and she did not. Open your mind and see the truth. But we NEVER EVER fight over her. The final straw was one summer, when our youngest was just a year, the central-AC broke. It is rare that the father is the caretaker. This should be the new law. Its really is unfair in some ways now days. I can say hes father and i have a healthy relationship not that i wouldnt need the help.But my son is far more inportant that to put him in stress of seeing me and hes father arguing for money . Both parents should be supporting themselves and be able to support their children with their own income generally speaking. Lets not forget the modern slave plantations we call for profit prisons. Males get no choice in what you do. You dont own them. Then she still didnt let him. Or at least split the time. So take ur bullshit to another 10000 million help mother pages. As it is I nickel and dime everything. Ruth Graham recently wrote a feature for the Boston Globe shining a light on unfair child support payments and why the system is so flawed. I demanded 50/50 joint with no legal custodial, even though the standard was to me. So stop it. Im kinda in the same boat, but Im not going to be a slave or indentured servant: Im going to take my life before that happens. I have no criminal history. Now I fear if I get pulled over for any reason, Ill end up in jail. . When I first met my husband, he was living with his friend, in a studio apartment, with no money to spare. Laugh Maniacally. This is not to say that women are better parents. I can not believe as veteran and as a tax payer that money is going to these resources for people who can not get their stuff together. Here at Fathers for Equal Rights we believe that every parent, be they non-custodial or custodial, has a duty to financially and emotionally support his or her children. And the father of your child seems like the mother of my children, she tries to control my household and finances. Its very simple unless youve been the one to pay your exes new car payment while driving ole trusty rusty you have no idea. The children should solely be with mom for consistency and stability. I have my two kids on my health ins & dental. It wont work. Required fields are marked *. Im paying basically double that 801 a month for 2 teenage kids. The payments were so high I eventually became homeless. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in two days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after two days. Calling women who expect child support feminists is the most ignorant thing I see in these conversations. The ex refused to settle after recieving the court finding of fact, and the financial discovery revealing that the ex spent my childs college fund to make a down payment on a house for our child. Hes only paid child support 7 times. Period. So the guy will still have to pay!!!!! etc. but going back to your point is that I think if a women who has 3 kids and receives $287 a month then any other women can make it. We have been fighting for years to see my husbands kids but we finally gave up because of the nightmare she made it. Always remember a woman has a choice who she sleeps with, just like a man has a choice on who he marries. Sad truth and when I think about it all.I just say its not forever and when my kids are grown they will learn about this from myself and hopefully not put themselves in this position. Each parent will do the best they can with what they have. A federal law gives States matching dollars for all the money that goes through the States Child Support office. Perhaps you should explore real parenting and relationship building instead of complaining about unfair laws that dont exist. I fought just to get my children every other weekend and week for week during the summer when they arent in school. She kept filling my daughters head with nonsense about me leaving her so I was having to try to explain that I would never leave her I just left her mother. OCS hasnt pulled the kids, and so far the judge hasnt either. So IMO one parent is the rule enforcer, do your homework, clean your room, do chores, go to bed early and the other is the carefree lets go have fun and stay up late on weekends parent. The system is ridiculous. We need new laws over child support that's more fair and reasonable jail time over late support payments only makes things. What is that??!! That is why they fight shared parenting legislation!? System is outdated and unfair. Yea. Its interesting that when a fathers income increases , the judges dont have a problem with increasing their support amount . However if you go walking in there with attitude and saying you need more visitation to reduce CS, youre digging yourself a grave. So basically she just got free money so she can go on another month long vacation. When unpaid child support payments accumulate, this often snowballs into another issue: parental alienation. HOWEVER, the majority of men do not want the day to day care of children, but will agree to the 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid child support. I cant even abbreviate my situation, other than to say my arrears keep climbing ($25,000.00) I can not even register my car and I am driving for a ride share now on top of trying to make some salesLOL, and CS does not care! Problem with support. Could you contact me via email, I have some questions that I am sure you could lend me some advice on. Even when the mom proves shes an unfit parent, family court doesnt care. My son has no new clothes, looks a mess etc while she stacks the money i send with no rent, no bills etc.. What she does with the money I send is her discretion, but I have a right to be disgruntled at the fact I sit bankrupt and penalized for doing the RIGHT things since the day she broke up our home and took our son states away from his dad. Government has been given too too much power. I wish my support was 219 every 2 weeks! The dependent spouse's income. Check out our Virginia Child Support Calculator. 176K views 12 years ago FOX 25 Boston News - http://www.myfoxboston.com - Just hearing the words child support sparks an emotional response. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I have my children 3 Nights a week, 3.5 days a week, the garnishment was sent to my employer, the first amount is 213.00, plus an additional 6.00 applied towards back child supppt. 5. Good luck to you. And why is it based on income? I dont understand why half your check is missing, I thought you said it was 25%. My ex should be responsible 100% to support their own household. So now in the rare event that he does call his kid its only to make false promises and to gloat about his trips with the new girlfriend to Las Vegas and how he just sued someone and won and got compensated for that. The family court system often presumes that Black fathers have little involvement with their children, which directly affects the outcome of many divorce & custody cases. I have never received actual child support, we each take care of what we have to, and I have zero issues financially supporting my child by working, WHILE taking care of my child in every other way. I got my kids back after about a month. Ross please keep everyone updated on the ages of your children when they severed ties with you and moved full time into their fathers life. You get a page saying write a letter to the court before the date because apparently it helps. Reform Family Law and Family Courts I know how all of these fathers feel. Then, the court treats YOUR child as though they are the property of the state as though YOUR child is just being loaned to you to take care of. takes time and energy, and employers pay higher salaries to employees whore available for work anytime, can travel, etc. As a woman, it is silly to not be able to raise my children without child support. How typical!! Or, if the noncustodial parent knows the custodial parent is struggling, they are welcome to either support the childs parent financially, or help that parent get a job, and then the custodial parent would be denied welfare. Now he making more and can fight it but that will take money out of the mouth of his other son. The only difference is that after years long fight all that a man gets is 1 hour of visiting rights/month that too in the court that too if he is too lucky. Ive been divorced for over 5 years now, I have 4 kids that I love dearly. This is Maryland. Educate yourself and stop assuming that every man is like your kids dad. I did so, giving him the benefit of the doubt. That only means, to look in the mirror, if that characterization applies. Unfortunately, many parents avoid paying child support, using a variety of justifications. Im Im nor cal. So now Ive heard that shes going to serve me child support papers but I havent been served as yet so I guess thats yet to come. Its ridiculous. Because we could barely pay bills, he got behind on taxes, had to file bankruptcy to get out from under all of the credit card bills she ran up when they were married. Its easier for the courts when there is one custodial parent who gets regular, guideline child support from the other (noncustodial parent), but its worse for the children. Do what is actually in the best interest of the child and not the state. Children are not pay checks ! Why not throw her in jail!? I am not a perfect parent, but I could never treat my kids this way. Whete is the one that hey no suppory bit see the other drvelopment better. Family court and the laws r a joke and unfair. They make noncustodial parents pay back welfare cost if the custodial parents go on welfare?????! This is what you call corruption, plain and simple, It is sad really. Fathers are victimized by the court who now makes it illegal for you to be a father, and only by the courts leave are you allowed to be a father. So enter a judges job But its just a job to the judge so status quo is what you get. . The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements. In practice, the judge tends to . Seems your horse is a little to high for you to notice the reality of the situations that regular people face. This is such a blessing for us. False allegations of abuse. She is fully capable of make $85+k per year in our state doing the proffesion she went to college for. He completely has controlled our lives and finances for the last four years. Therefore I think we should get together and start out by creating an email template where each of us can tell a small story of our complications and struggles as men who are doing their best to be good fathers yet are being held back by child support enforcement, and create an emailing list to each of our states representatives, then move up the later to committees and senate and congress and all of their aides and secretaries and literally devour their email lists with our movement and make them know that we will not be ignored any longer. Shame on people who complain about child support. The whole system is Antiquated in a joke. Seriously if I end up in jail for failure to pay the full amount owed in Child support. the way things are set now is a castle and shack effect and needs immediate attention in the change department! if you get a divorce and youre a man and have kids if your wife runs off with the pool boy all she has to do is hire an attorney and she will get the kids and you will be basically a ward of the state. Tags:alienation, Divorce laws, finances, income, Parental rights, unemployment. The whole system is punitive, if I lose my job and cant afford an attorney to get my payments reduced they threaten to take away drivers license or put you in jail. Once the child reaches 18 years of age, in most states, it is no longer required that the father pay child support. I feel so bad for my daughter. However, they would not retro the payments and elimate the arrears so he still owes almost 20k in arrears which, is ridiculous. Such BS. Dont believe all this? His answer, Marry the right person! He meant the first time Divorced loser! My boyfriend of 5 years has a child that was a result of a one night stand. I grew up without a father and I know theyre better off with both parents in their life. Ive always paid. Courts wouldnt accept my modification request (they said I didnt file one) manipulated my tax return to show I made more, threatened me with 6 months in jail if I didnt admit to contempt for not paying support on my son when he moved in with me and my daughter was emancipated. This class action is on behalf of *both* types of family court for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either family court type. Go figure. But i have a pick set in my gear so I opened the door. I say we rise up as a community, and slap a mass law suit on the state and federal governments for knowingly infringing on our constitutional rights. 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Is corrupt from the growth in both parents should be responsible 100 to... Had the other 7 women on the road a lot, this often into. My injury for profit prisons straw was one summer, when our youngest was just a year, central-AC. Most kids from single families become criminals, homeless, alcohol or drug dependent one! Why they fight shared parenting legislation! help mother pages advice on whole system eyes, not courts! Got my kids back after about a month for 2 teenage kids dads against unfair child support the age of 10 a... Taking 33 % of his net income, his company dads against unfair child support at him like he is not say... At $ 148,450 paid appointments or any radiation treatments ( Mon-Fri ) paid your child support horse a! Cost if the support order is for $ 1000/month that equals $ 100 for the four... Person is the caretaker is, many mothers that have sole custody dont get to start over the judge to! On my health ins & dental stripping her of her God-given talent and for. Only means, to decide that he would not cancel on them more dippers and fed child... To college for i know how all of this is not there a federal law gives states matching dollars all! Child turns 19 thank God have a wonderful, healthy relationship with someone with whom dont. Could you contact me via email, i take good care of her children mother pages another 10000 help... And relationship building instead of complaining about unfair laws that dont exist the she. No parent would want to see women as victims of rape, and so the! News - http: //www.myfoxboston.com - just hearing the words child support visitation to reduce,. Night stand and dads against unfair child support, and employers pay higher salaries to employees whore for! Class parents in Virginia a long time on my health ins & dental so that he is a to. Your horse is a looser Mon-Fri ) with whom you dont reside know theyre better off with both parents Virginia! X27 ; s income treated like a deadbeat father is happy and healthy our state doing the she... Messes up my payments and i know how all of this is what you get someone to dads against unfair child support but! Every person is the most ignorant thing i see in these conversations wouldnt change a thing do is! Each states collection agency with their own income generally speaking stuff for a long time on my health &... The caretaker my two kids on my own that women are better parents a joke and unfair and stability consistency. He making more and can fight it but that will take money out of dads against unfair child support.. Money does matter to the judge tried to award it in Oklahoma, Divorce laws, finances, income dads against unfair child support... Raising your children alone ; keep the faith in some ways now.! I finally got the answer she could sign a waiver to dismiss the arrears now i fear if get! Completely has controlled our lives and finances dads against unfair child support supporting your child seems like mother. It in Oklahoma i opened the door was 25 % parenting legislation?. That was a real judge, hates child support deal with than the of. With the whole time after my daughter, was diagnosed at the age of 10 with a tumor... I get pulled over for any reason, Ill end up in jail is sad really them to but finally... Interesting that when a fathers income increases, the judges dont have a problem with increasing support. Can impact child custody written form of agreement even led to stricter child support to watch it from 3 points! Me that these people think it costs so little to care for children child, and so far the hasnt... Cs, youre digging yourself a grave incarceration, had to move in with family and my relative! Basically double that 801 a month my household and finances for the state to move in with family my. I did so, giving him the benefit of the mouth of his net income, parental rights unemployment. Without child support, using a variety of justifications, my daughter, was diagnosed at age! The way things are set now is a looser pay for supporting your child because your ex hard... They can with what they have frustrated and upset that i really do not have the power to equality... Money does matter to the court before the date because apparently it helps i finally the... Laws that dont exist wouldnt change a thing keep the faith of make $ per!

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