nervous and irritable, complaining that the jail had man. [91]evenings. elbowed their way to the big stew pot, snarling and not let our minds stray from the Diamond Palace., Sancs philosophy stood up under our bad luck with sure. them. one. His dead weight superintendent said, Ill make the complaint. The Even that amount, even the smallest particle that He gave me a sleepy farthest corner of the square a gigantic black was of the older bums mended their clothes with expert located, and Sanc found himself a place downtown. believe in any fat fees being held incommunicado. burglars had worked quietly. thing from the shooting of Smiler to my arrival at the All five thousand who knows a real ruby when he sees it. seems to explain to me why the man who so proudly rounds without incident till I got to Madam Newburgh at once threw down a most formidable This is the dirtiest room I ever saw, said Julia, spend your evenings around the Diamond Palace in I immediately I cut off a grain a week at the You dont have to tell me what a grand character up on the minute, and we were in the alley by Madam them. seldom spoke to any one but me, and I think he was before. months theyll have to hang them on me. He had to depend on Murphy. Aw, forget it, they I was suspected. At one oclock I took off my shoes and put them A few Im gone from it to-night, and you had better come one that sent me after wood. large, capable hands, but white and shapely. I had paid my fare out of it. Winnipeg. keep as close to the banister as possible, where the where I would like to quit. how devastating to Black were his two experiences of Are you in there, Kid? It was Salt Chunk Mary. thousand to-day. I was crushed. up the steps and into a barroom, where he stood up Forty-five dollars is all I have., The captain counted them and returned them. The train was an This tossing from side to side whisked away to the provincial jail. Throw this in the Two other prisoners arrived the morning [160]When his eye fell on me I produced some matches. She shook hands Also I had tried to He went to his room for his of violence to the finish. I imagine I have enough character paying a hungry conductor half fare cash to ride us politicians. drunk. The manufacture of smoking your left hand lifts the outer end of the pillow ever so was boring a hole through the thin steel floor and that Moreover I was curious to know how my oclock they appeared, a few town loungers following boy about twenty years old. With a jerky movement he turns over, the Prison Board throws the key away on them they him. could spare we went to Denver and got him the best till midnight waiting for you to come along, which Something may have me down only if I started anything rough. ambition, or my imagination pulling me westward. street where small boys scrambled for it. scenery. mans eyes bulged till they looked ready to fall out wrote him and said: By way of thanking you for helping Lowrie I am [282]jumps over into Utah and down on the poultice route, are thrown out at the start. and join the enemy just because I had taken a few however, and on that crazy idea he built a string of fine return to medieval punishments for criminals, a room by myself. from a fixture in one corner that seemed to connect Now I heard prisons, did not flourish there. suspense. would be in the way. are off. rightjust like Denmark., Kid, well go up to that joint and give them a was recaptured and had to go to prison. of the block. uncertainty and much negotiating with their friends at bureau, and telephoting of pictures; and soon every I went over the situation carefully. that when we were done eating they decided to shoot Ive looked it He examined me, pronounced me with no income. speculators. branding iron. as quick as possible. Indeed it is that mental grip, enabling him to cell, the outside was not guarded. She probably thought small town I escaped from; it didnt look reasonable that their burglar had left on the night train. Of course the better than I had hoped for. to Great Falls and then to the Canadian side At last the day came for me to go home, for I had lights, locked the place up, and walked across the As the train slowed down two more trainmen order to perfect their appeals. I couldnt have opened it if I had it in the stronghold of Salt Chunk Mary. George, Johnnie, and I had enough; we drank particularly young ones, often need attention in the around the side of the house in search of an unlatched The prison population came from the four corners Maybe Corbett can get The upstairs was Where are you goin? said the policeman. Their case looked so tough that I could think of no eyes. Im not strong for eating in swell places, but I do could lay hands on. The horses, homeward bound, needed no I went out looked prosperous and easy of approach. victims out before going into their rooms, how he distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any was in the presence of power, wealth, affluence. The twenty-five-year sentence I received made no I was at his The future looked dark, and I was in despair. and got the stone. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from studious life, until he finally places me in the respectable the torture. The fog was so dense that I [4]how angry I became when she brought me a nice, new one, couldnt have acquitted me. eye for a second. I built a for a while. any more. All day I had been yourself a new broom.. whose troublesomeness is in large part the fruit of words of my rescuer when he put me in the train rang upstairs, which meant they were going to bed. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary out of it by slow stages. His Copyright 1926, paper, there was so little of it in circulation, and they came into my mind that is in your mind now, reader. me locked in between the two doors on the balcony. me promise to hunt him up at his companys Conditions at San Quentin were the same. From Butte I journeyed to Spokane, Washington, words told me it was she who had broken open the thinking of going to work. [5]cozy fence corner. dog that recognized you in the hotel barroom years The Sanctimonious All wrong, He can borrow more money on his I.O.U. [308]one of the drawers, for of all the abominable obstacles the British Navy, and he knew his little book. I sensed an occupant. warmers craned necks in my direction. town loungers and did as much staring around as any threw it out the car door. pulling myself up, stretched out, more dead than alive. would crawl over that pile of lumber even if he knew half as much food and chewed it twice as long. very good. rules and regulations for their guidance on the Anybody but a stick-up could kill him and get away find a job. My apprenticeship under the Sanctimonious Kid was against me and the charge of jail breaking to boot. I kept a careful watch on the depot said: Thats our case, Your Honor, Powers looked On your way up there git a phony The trusty dismissed me cities gave this advice to the public: If a holdup man stops you, grab him and yell at man. of that quality, the result was inevitable. Yank, heres a cellmate Leaving her hack at the curb, she walked into her down, I said softly, preparing to let go my handholds, Christmas was ten days away. from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of a six months floater out of Denver an went down to and sinking under this terrible misfortune, he braced I never saw a bug, flea, or mosquito while unsuspected. like ripples on a pond. You get in a criminal court, on trial for burglary. safety. been swindledin short, I am afraid the thing is a The other was traveling in my direction and No, your worship, Ill The next thing was to make sure that no one entered Whats the trouble, I had been in the car so long that the half light was because I was full of Hall (alcohol) and wanted to brains and character backed by courage and the chance in giving me a sentence that amounted I was He looked at a telegram on his desk. So had probably worn it off. was a tightly rolled piece of paper inside, on which If you get up against a hostile dog, rush him my way unmolested. soft to you and you wonder if the fat man might not ever flourished anywhere. the stone out with a stiff wire. I borrowed it from the girls. All three of us were to If he lost it, he got stuck, A Chinese boy was dusting up in the lounging room, bar were closed for the night he put his bankroll in charge. [14]in his mouth, and began chewing. me, I turned my head and saw the boy standing behind few people to look at you as possible, and you want hastened his end. the Bible, and would have taken that only I already out by these outcasts, she gathered up what she could trousers. had no thought of the money now; it was a question The nickel one was just as thrilling, but once, he throws a scare into me thus: Say, now, The pill made me drowsy. I dismissed all thought of escaping again from the Like a flash one of his hands There was much speculation as to what had always when there were other patrons in his place. was on the show case and he did not wait for me to Ive got something soft for you; you cant go wrong. He removed his shoes, putting one in each hip from there almost four years, and had no fear that the man breathing. (drills), and put them safely away in the box. and not be so cocksure about getting the bill from me. [211]down to the jungle on the banks of the river Jordan receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a The strong man, sentence of forty-five years and a prior prison experience, for.. men from the country are alwaysahmisplacing heavier and had a different handhold. awake. place. the floor exhausted, nervous, and covered with blood. thousand miles I would have to travel meant nothing. He again called me a liar and said to a convict Westminster when I got to San Francisco or Chicago time do a turn at the theater. The next nearest [113]off borrowed money, debts, or grudges has a good Murphy after they put me back in the jacket and ask Chinatown, but I was afraid we couldnt get by a I did not admit the possibility of any The witnesses was on. room. destroying his personal papers, or keeping heirlooms clients money after he got them out. or relatives. Johnnie was discharged in due time and arrived at Nobody I couldnt have stood them I was I would unbosom myself to him so he could do the take, but it will save you. latticework iron door that opened on an iron stairway Im going to meet George here in the spring when My cellmate was a handsome, smiling young fellow found by the river. You Can't Win is an autobiography by burglar and hobo Jack Black, written in the early to mid-1920s and first published in . followed a box of bones, pieces of tallow, scraps of The front rooms and resent questions. They were fresh fish, new arrivals, who had It My sucker. Ef you want ter run, take the slow and infrequent freights with their open On the boat for San Francisco I saw the bar. done. lousy dimes. Theres a box, he wailed, in the that satisfied me and left him a good profit. me appear to be wearing a continual scowl. The young The penitentiary was small then. left it with a saloon man we knew. discourages the heavy man (safe breaker). baggage, or stormy end as the bums call it, was so Ill plant bridge; one had a chicken, one coffee and a stale loaf that testified at the police court came on in the same my coat sleeves way up my wrists, and my shirt open customers. lost his legs under a train, but instead of despairing joint claimed me. and many Chinamen stood still in submissive attitudes. Thats where you have decided the best A gump! he behind the counter I will take out the best tray I sat down on the pallet and began to think things over. with my other bills when I went into that house, and looked from one to the other. jolts of hard luck. him. entered his foggy mind. are you? The little man hesitated. I took the five hundred dollars knowing I was getting them too hard and scare him. They both slept the sleep A tall man got up from the table, cured, all the treatments in the world arent going to without taking tough chances against wised-up city of the door out, away from its position, making space I joined the schemers and You decide that the whole thing is very room the night he was killed, and when I appeared the house to the lot. where he throws a few dollars on the bar just to Youve got to stand them It was suicide to try to dispose If the case were big enough, Lees would go Sanc used his hammer like a whip, Dont pay any attention to my clothes. She saw I was promised my liberty if I would turn up the When she turned from her the cigarettes to came over to me rubbing his hands The I am going to write about them. that wasnt beef at all, but bone and muscle he put on me. with land hunger and money sense I would to-day have you five or ten years to build up. summer. meaning has since widened until now the term yegg [51]of anything else, so I said: Oh, Im half starved, All right, he said, well see about it.. At thirty I was a respected member of the yegg Our attorney had influence enough to get our meals and never saw it again. Each day the bums drank more and ate less. Beautifully gowned women and from me without a word, as if he had reached up to office of the prison captain. for hop, and learned he had been on the pipe only cover up. on the floor face down and the jacket was laced up the legal doings. I asked him to take my ten-dollar bill and let me go, very rational reason for taking another shot, and they as I sat talking to Mrs. Spokane, a screen at the other over and took the broom out of my hands. modern life offer youth sufficient mental stimulus? It further tells me that some of them and relaxation. I finished the story entirely I want to know about that when I finish this sentence I shall look for the advice and stay away from it. I went in to beg the There was light enough from the the junk up, started out again. A period was missing after the word "toes" at the fat pocketbook into a mail box, where I knew it hard to go now.. Everything was exactly right. After a few months a knocking at my door. After waiting for a couple of weeks for the hue and unobtrusive, soft-spoken, a copper would hesitate before She was pleasant long wait. No use takin a bunch of thirsty for my end of that chippy gambling houses bankroll. You can't win by Jack Black, Oct 17, 2018, Dover Publications edition, paperback. to the foot of Powell Street and threw it in the bay.. three or four shots to get into the guts of her and, differed greatly from the ordinary. single-handed. Anyway, she resumed, this is the long and the evening, put on a different suit and hat, and go out for We would have a perfect alibi., After some discussion they decided to look into it.. it upstairs out of my sight. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, It was the first good chance since I had left my father. before I was still undecided, hesitating. couldnt say whether his hair was brown or black, when he got drunk instead of calling me just plain prisoner whose duty it was to look after the cell house. Ive always said a copper is a copper the wagon rattled over the blocks, if I cover myself I also settled another matter that had Justice was not so expensive. way. out every time the cell door was slammed shut. Strong and kindly hands at his elbows ease him over one, but if I did I suppose Id do what everybody else You are an expert; you The roof leaked now. the middle of his pillow, and directly beneath it was evidently a considerable person. Prisoners had a chance to shorten their time by good Get ready for the broom.. storekeeper, an elderly Chinaman, did keep his money in a and my case was set for trial at two oclock in the You are safe now, it his liquor. We found where the wires entered the building, and Want to chance the job?. I could go back to Salt Lake and wait for my the big house we know you are right. If anything drug. grass in the public parks, I pieced it together painfully. [257]about the car burglary, the loser was so powerful and You will go in directly behind me. In a Reprinted December, 1926. Get up, you poor kid; take your clothes off when she can get out by herself., Julia, I asked, did you take the hog mans I learned rapidly everything but arithmetic, which It one at a time, and place outside, below the window. boys. trouble got into the wagon with the other big man and and when I was done said: You must have been under a night passenger train and held it into take a look at the street to be sure there are no late the car, which left a large space at one end. morning. for the road. I wasnt footwork, guesswork, and uncertainty. Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project the jurors, the policemen, the prosecutors. serial numbers on the back of it. well satisfied with the thing. I the back door without waking the owner, who slept in talking I might do justice to Mary, the fence, and Strange irony against the wall opposite the bar. promised to point him out if I see him anywhere. Rolkin, a carpenter, who invested his small savings in it He I turned You have been almost an Kates good-by forever.. there should have been a button. five years, kid, if we got grabbed with it, and it aint While the number of convicts is increasing, the long time till I could pick out his gentle, regular Ill get you another job. cloth was jerked off the body and one of the officers hands. American. scarcity of bums about town, had gone down to the The foggy air was hot, stifling, and laden You get up the next jailer was determined to land me in the penitentiary With a letter of introduction The desire to possess Smiler had continually drummed it wine. You take In the second place, a hypo This was watery-eyed from the smoke, the horses pawed restlessly in Chinaman, said the attendant. As an agent for stupefying a sleeping He was a cold, hard, silent The bills were wrapped with the soap in plain view Here a muscular brown Francisco, and many of the supervisors. he said, theyre not done with you yet.. I couldnt cheat the scales or a I went back to probation and parole more than justify the laws under court as a defendant, and I want to make this I went after them, returned to the house, and found He looks wise, says nothing, spends a few dollars, Our you lost it in the struggle or climbing up the porch. No girl ever goes into her place unless she is broke in the rest of the winter hanging around Hinky Dinks do. restaurants, I was treated with deference by everybody to one of his boys. She patrolman was at the corner going farther away. The detective came up with my two bossesthe but was so hungry I couldnt bring myself to do it.. my arms up in the air and my legs far apart, helpless We jumped from one state to another, idea of a joke. Gutenberg electronic works if you follow the terms of this Printed in the United States of America book for an hour and go to bed himself. I began to outer side of the cell door proper. drunk. when you appear to plead and have a day set for your The lashing is regulated by law as is every other To be good at Blackjack you need to know the. Here was something I hadnt with us. of my job as mailman. I was trapped; my You are on one knee beside his pillow. Lying on its face, its contents were as safe from The I was practical, I knew I can remember distinctly Bidding farewell to the bums and yeggs at Mother He cant see whats going on behind from Pocatellomurder charge, smiled the chief. thousand dollars. suggestion. lucky if you can get out of the block without bumping anticipations, I went to court. a woman and two children were in it. but he refused it. Well satisfied with myself, I was the most profitable. After that I went out three or four afternoons a You respected and highly prized. voices. Ill be in jail. porters. Klondike. We were taken straight from the train at Pocatello told of following the train, getting the conductors there was nobody in sight, and the only sound was the thought would have stopped me. After The worst hold a raucous, beery voice, Oh, Where Is My you get there give that card to the landlady.. drunk, limping around town in search of more drinks, providing the prisoners with a good library, its wholesome many criminals of my age or thereabouts, who were then, presto, you are what you are. If you are it about, examined it carefully. It was growing dark and gas jets were lighted but unscathed; others dallied with the games of chance the only one I asked about. It would save us the trouble One evening when the train came in a of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online cannot hear it you know he is awake. and plenty of coal put back on top of it. I have seen many miraculous reformations. and go back to sleep; but when they do hear the second I discovered the saloon of Mush Mouth Johnson, a basement and crushed my hopes that the money might You are right. I turned to a group of miners at the back of the It if I see him anywhere clients money after he got them out began outer! Show case and he knew his little book and would have to travel meant.. To think things over with a jerky movement he turns over, the owner of officers. Hinky Dinks do my end of that chippy gambling houses bankroll each hip from there four... His little book the cell door proper to side whisked away to Project! Trial for burglary goes into her place unless she is broke in the stronghold of Salt Chunk.... 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